My inventions.

I have difficulty following through. Let's just put that out there.

BUT

I have some pretty great ideas. One time when I was 18, my best friend Michael and I decided to start a business selling screen print T-shirts that say funny Mormon things. We even bought a .com website, and had sample T-shirts made to promote our ingenious products that for sure every consumer would want, Mormon or not. We were going to make at least $200,000 each. It was called MyBishopRocks.com. And surely enough, Summer was over that's where it ended. I went off to Rexburg, he went off to NYU, and the website expired. So for all of these awesome ideas...and because I know I will never follow through with them, I will post the rest because I still want someone to.

1. Opposite-Microwave. I can't think of a better name. It's essentially a feature on a microwave (or another unit itself) that makes food colder. Dustin thinks it's scientifically impossible, but there's got to be some science-nerd with that insane, stereotypical electrocuted-hair look and nasely voice that can figure this one out. I mean, really? Am I the only one who overheats things? Or who doesn't want to wait 25 minutes to eat cheesy potato soup?

2. Toast Grabber. Again, poor name choice. Maybe it's just every toaster I've ever had, but I feel like I'm risking extreme electrocution when I jab metal knives in there to try to stab my toast to pull it out.

3. A cleaning product for extreme grease build-up. Oh really? I should try dish detergent? Steal wool? Comit? Straight acid? Nope. None of them have worked for the nastiness that is on the outside and top of our refrigerator that is located directly next to our range. And for your FYI (that's a quote), that grease was not from us. We don't fry things.

4. Feux-orange leather backpacks. I don't want to spend $400 on a backpack, I just want to look like I did.

(Okay, okay. If someone really does invent that opposite-microwave, I will need at least 2% commission.)