Here's the deal. About 7 years ago I was terrified of gay people. I was uncomfortable around them and almost even... afraid of them. What the heck?! Why??
Answer: Because that's the way I was raised. My mother never specifically said she didn't like people who were gay, but every time we saw someone who was, she would make this "clearing her throat" sound, look down, stop talking, and quickly walk past them. I'm not blaming my mother, I'm sure she had early negative influences also.
Well, fresh out of high school, I took an intern position at a Theatre Camp (CGST). I will never forget how I felt that first hour or two after I was dropped off. I went in to meet the other staff, only to find that out of the 21 staff members, 11 were gay. I felt awkward and imagining myself there with "those people" for 2 1/2 months scared me.
A funny thing happened, as I'm sure you saw coming. I became really good friends with almost everyone. I was surprised to find out that they were normal human beings. It blew my mind. All this time I thought gay people were weird, horrible people- only to find out that they were just like everyone else in the world! I know, I know. I'm making it seem like I thought they were aliens. Well, maybe I did. That Summer I got a big slap in the face.
Any person who has been or is constantly persecuted usually ends up being nicer, more considerate, and accepting of others. The people I had the privilege of being friends with at CGST were exactly that. They knew how much it hurt to be hated and mocked by everyone, to be judged based on one part of who they were. To be talked about, disrespected, and unwanted almost every day. In spite of that, the people I knew at least, were kind. Even though Mormon's have a stereotype of being unaccepting of gays, they were still nice to me. One friend I had at CGST told me on the last day, "Usually Mormon's don't talk to me. You are the first Mormon who has ever been nice to me." Her words haunted me.
While Mormon's believe that marriage is to be between a man and a woman- we don't believe that having same-gender attractions are fake. We do believe that gender isn't an accident. For more on what Mormon's really believe, check out the following links:
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?locale=0&sourceId=1aba862384d20110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=e1fa5f74db46c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=e5cbba12dc825110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
The point that I'm trying to make is that I'm sick of all this. While I still firmly believe that marriage is to be between a man and woman, I still love those, and am respectful to all those who are gay. I'm tired of all the comments I hear, the jokes, the relentless mocking, the headline news when someone sees 2 guys holding hands. And PLEASE stop with your stupid argument that "I can't understand how it feels because I'm only attracted to the opposite gender." Well, you want to know how it would feel? It's easy. Have everyone tell you that your feelings towards your spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever- are fake and wrong. See how it feels. Have some compassion. We're taught that Heavenly Father "is no respector of persons" and loves us all equally. I can't explain everything, but please don't be one of those dumb Mormon's who contributes to the bad rep of: "You're the only Mormon who has ever been nice to me."
4 comments:
Great post Erika. My oldest brother is gay and has been with his partner for more than 10 years. They're both great guys. While we may not condone their same-sex attractions or their way of life, that doesn't mean we can't love them and be friends with them and be kind to one another.
Call me Erika...(do you still have my number?) I was actually thinking about this today prior to reading your post and I'm a little hot about this subject. (I agree with you...but have some thoughts of my own and want to know if you agree or disagree...so call me...fb me if you don't have my number and I'll get it to you.)
I don't mind it all in some way, but I have a hard time explaining to my daughter why there is a picture in newspaper of two women getting married one week and two man getting married the other. I have not hung out around gay people, and think it would be an interesting experience, definitely opened to it so I can get to know them better.
It's like during the conference one of the authorities said that we people tend to vote on things that are in nature, things and laws created by God.
Honestly, I would never want my daughter to think that it is ok to have two mothers or two fathers. I don't know though, I have different opinions on the subject. I hope I didn't offend anyone, who will be reading this.
I was talking about this to my manager the other day. Not necessarily about gays, but about others that are not of our religion. I personally think there are some members of our church that are truly stuck in a bubble and they don't listen to what we have been commanded to do; treat others with kindness. Yes, I just said that. Chello people. Just like you said Rika, God is no respecter of persons. That being said, we need to accept all people. We don't have to believe what they are doing is correct, but we can love them just the same.
My manager's little girl came home from school and asked, "What's wrong with being a Catholic?" Um, are you kidding me?! I just think that is ridiculous. We say we love our brothers and sisters, but when we shun those who are not of our faith or do not believe what we do and actually have people say "You're the only Mormon that has talked to me," then that is not what we believe. Treat others like you would want to be treated.
If they're gay, awesome. I love gay people. They are some of the nicest people I know. I have a gay cousin and I absolutely love him and his partner. Great people. They were both raised LDS, but I love them both the same. (Actually, I have two gay cousins, but one is a lot older than me and I don't really know him.) It's like people being afraid of black people. It's makes me laugh.
I'm sure I have offended someone. I apologize, but then I don't. I just wish everyone would experience a little culture of how the real world is. (That totally sounded like I'm some rebel, when really I'm one of the "Molly-est," yet cultured Mormons out there.) Anyway...
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