I'm checking out for 3 months.

Today starts Winter 2012 semester! I'm off-track, but am taking 15 credits to stay on-track to graduate July 2013. I'm taking all generals, and am pretty nervous about what this semester will entail. It will be a true test of responsibility and good practice of time-management. I'll be on campus 4 nights a week, and am also taking 3 online classes. I plan on staying on campus for a couple hours extra each night instead of trying to shun my children away while I do it at home. Hopefully this will be a success rather than total failure.

Updates:
Jack is consistently saying 2-word phrases now and loves his speech therapist. He loves throwing balls, wearing his Cars jammies, and being sweet and chill. Unfortunately, he's also being raised by his older sister and secretly enjoys wearing tutu's and toting around purses full of random McDonald's toys.

Lillie can write her name legibly and is so proud of herself! She can identify every letter and can count up to 30. She understands quanitities, and is starting to figure out time (seconds, minutes, hours, etc.). Lillie enjoys any kind of art project and is constantly wearing dress up clothes, purses, fancy shoes, and singing some random song she made up on the spot at all times. She's very compassionate and very girly. I love her creativity and affection.

Dustin C Marshmallow is a good father and husband. He was telling me last night that even though he and I won't see much of eachother Mon-Thurs while I'm in school, he's excited to have the chance to spend so much time with Lillie and Jack. He's busy each day fixing rental units and doing lots of side jobs. He loves his old Chevy truck, and has been running quite a bit the last couple of months. He's very sweet and is always helping me with dinner, dishes, and the dreaded laundry. My favorite time of the day is when we put the kids to bed and spend time together watching movies, playing scrabble, or staying up late drinking Pepsi and playing cards.

You pretty much know everything about me. I'm happy to report that I did, infact, get into the music program! The program here at BYU-Idaho is very small and very difficult to get into. I finished my voice Jury last semester with an A-, which I'm very proud of. It was quite intimidating, to say the least.

We had a wonderful Christmas and really enjoyed being with both of our families. I'm excited for 2012 and all the opportunites life will bring us. Merry (late) Christmas!

Welcome, Friends.

I just realized I never posted about where we live.
So, um, yes.

We moved in June 3rd this year and we love it. It's a multi-unit home with separate basement and attic units. We have the main floor, yard, front porch, and back deck exclusively(which means we do the yard work). And with the 2 other units basically vacant, it pretty much feels like it's all ours.
One day in the near future I will go through and take pics of the inside, but I realistically don't see myself having time to do that anytime soon... nor do I think you care that much. So here are the basic stats:

1400 sq/feet of original dark hardwood floors. 2 large bedrooms both with extremely almost-a-waste-of-space walk-in closets that are serving as a play room and our office. We have a big kitchen and separate laundry room. Our living room/dining room is so ginormous, it houses our furniture with total ease. It has pretty neat 1920's era features that you just can't get from your typical cookie-cutter house and it has all new big windows. We love having a yard to mow and plant flowers in and a deck to sit out on and enjoy our lovely view of the Aquatic Center parking lot while sipping lemonade (or not). We seriously love this house, even with all of it's "special" (Daniel) characteristics. I always feel right at home when I walk through our front door. Plus, our ward is absolutely fabulous. I hope we get to stay here for a while longer.

My HUGE Stressor right now.

BLOGGING.

I can't even check other peoples' blog because it gives me HUGE anxiety. Really? What else do you have to share about your perfect life??

I know, I'm just being grouchy. Perhaps after my last final on December 15th I'll be happier. Tis the season to be stressed....

Our 25$ trip to Vegas

Last minute, Dustin and I were blessed to join the Horns and Halo's RAGNAR Relay team in Las Vegas back in October. It's 189 miles divided up by 12 runners. Each runner ends up running between 15-20 miles total. I was stoked, Dustin was unsure. After dropping off our sweet little kiddos at Aunt Dana's house to play for the weekend- we picked up our carpoolers and left to Vegas.
9 hours later... we met up with our team that we would really get to know over the next 36 hours- and then slept. 5am came bright and early, but Dustin (runner 1) started us off at 9AM on the dot. The next 35 hours are just a blurry mess of awsome.

Because Dustin and I were in different vans, we only saw eachother once every 6 hours or so. Here's the only picture of us together at the finish line!
We finished on Saturday late afternoon. It was exhausting, super duper hot, but really fun. That sounds weird and contradicting- but for any of you that have ever ran a relay like this understand what I mean. We loved every minute of it.

We also got to hang out with our oldtime good friends, the Delemonts! It was really fun to see them again and made us want to move back... almost.

oh, and how was it only 25$? Gas was paid for by the girls we drove down via BYU-I rideboard. The registration fee was waived by the runners whom we replaced, and our Hotel on Saturday night at the Paris was paid for by RAGNAR.

We spent 24.99 after taxes on our hotel at the Santa Fe Station for Thursday night.

Deuce

Bring it on, Jack!!
It's not like I haven't dealt with age 2 before.

I've been blessed to have a taste of what things will be like for the next 12 months. Jack loves to imitate Lillie's drive-me-crazy whiney voice. "uuuuuuuuuuuuuunhuh." He also loves to wear Lillie's Tu-Tu's and twirl. A couple weeks ago he dumped out an entire bottle of baby powder. As you probably recall, a year before he was covered in 5 pounds of flour. A few weeks ago I caught him shoving raisens into our DVD player. 2 months ago at church he grabbed 2 handfulls of cheerio's and threw them about 5 rows in front of us. This past Sunday, after taking a bath and putting on new pajamas, he decided to get back into the bathtub and play somemore, fully clothed and thrilled. I love being with that snuggely little boy. Sure, we've had our testing times- but I love hearing him say "I want Mommy!" right after he wakes up and picking up super-tiny peices of garbage and bringing them to me saying "Gank-oo!" (You're welcome Jack, I guess.)

I can't believe my tiny 6 pound, 8 oz baby with brown hair and blue eyes is now 27 pounds, has a buzzcut, and looks up at me with his brown eyes (yes) and kisses me on the cheek. He used to just sleep all day- now he reads books, colors, fingerpaints, and plays with his tricycle. I love that he hates TV, I love that he eats more than our 4 year old, I love how he always has a messy face no matter what, and I love that he loves me back.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Jack-ie! (as Lillie would say)

A Blessed Miracle!!!

This past Saturday I had a vocal audition to get into Music 155- private voice lessons. After talking to my incredible friend, Kaitlin (who majored in Vocal Performance from UW) she gave me a list of about 10 classical songs. I went to Chesbro for a while, and decided on 1 song, Caro Mio Ben... mainly because it was the easiest to learn, Italian-wise.

I practiced almost every day for about a month. I knew my Italian wasn't perfect, but I sang Italian songs when I was in voice in High School, so... does 6 years really make a difference???
YES.

My Audition was with the head of the music department. While waiting in the hall to go in, I couldn't help but observe that every girl singing in his office sounded like a professional Oprah singer. Crap.

My confidence plummeted, but I went in anyway with a smile. This is where it goes terribly bad.

The on-site accompianist (bless his heart) wasn't so great. I sang the first line for him while snapping the tempo, but of course, he played it rediculously fast. Now, what i SHOULD have done, was stop him and correct the tempo. Oh, but what did I do?? I went along with it. So, after feeling disconnected from the mood and feel of the song, I forgot my words 2 times, almost ran out of breath on a line, and just plainly- I sounded bad. No, not bad, really bad. It didn't help watching this guy frantically type who-knows-what on his laptop the entire time I was singing.

After the vocal part of the audition, there was a sight-reading exercise. We had to sight-read a Methodist Hymn. It was tricky. I think I did okay on it, though. We ended the audition by him telling me that I messed up the rhythem in 1 measure, and that my Italian sounded like Spanish.

Right after I left his office, I walked out the doors of the Snow Building and instantly started crying. And... pretty much kept crying for the rest of that day, Sunday, and Monday.

On Monday, I found out that out of the 60 kids that auditioned for this Major-Voice Lessons class, only 25 would make it. I "let myself down" and went home trying to think of ways that maybe I could retake it next semester, etc.. If I didn't get in, I would have to graduate a semester later.

To make an already unnessisarly long story shorter...
I checked the list today and I made it. It is seriously a miracle. I'm not even trying to sound modest- that audition sounded really bad.
I'm so grateful I got in! At the list posted on a bulletin board, there were girls left and right bawling and walking away. I feel very blessed to have somehow gotten into this class.

Oh, and BTW- this 2 credit class will not be as easy as I imagined. Not only do I have a private 1 hour lesson a week, but I also have 2 hour-long master classes, have to sing in some STAR recitals, and have to attend 8 choral events this semester. Gah!!

What should I be doing right now?

Sleeping.

It's 2:50AM and I've been home from work for about 30 minutes. I'm having one of those nights where my mind is racing, and I can't fall asleep. Prolly because I'm stressed.

Now, those of you who really really really know me, know that I simply don't handle stress well. I get easily overwhelmed, lose patience, and cry and stuff. I've known about this little (ahem, big) problem I've had for years. Luckily, I was blessed to marry Mr. Dustin who is super laid back and very easy going. He balances me out perfectly and very patiently listens to me dramatize every detail of my life, then tells me he loves me and gives me a big hug.

I guess I'm just rambling on at this point, but I promise that I DO have something to say. If you don't really care about me, then I would suggest not wasting your time reading. It would be pretty boring to most people- but is therapeutic to me.

There are a few things going on right now that are making me feel a bit upset/stressed/overwhelmed.

#1
I'm super sad that some certain family members are moving away. I was so excited that Tyson married Alli because she's always been like a sister to me. You can't find a more kind, loyal, and honest friend. Sometimes I call her up and ramble on about everything and she listens. I'm pretty sure I'm in complete denial that she's leaving.
And of course Dustin is upset that his brother is moving. This is all from my point of view, but Tyson has played a very vital role for our family, especially the last year. He's helped us out in many times of crisis and is genuinly a carring person. Sometimes Dustin will get on a role about all the silly things those two would do to eachother growing up. It's crazy to think that after 20-some years of being enemy's, Tyson is now Dustin's closest friend.
I'm happy for their family. It sucks to move. I've never enjoyed uprooting my entire life and having to start over. It's not easy making new friends, figuring out where everything is, and feeling so disconnected from everything you know- but it really brings you closer as a family. All of our "adventures" have turned out to be incredible experiences that we wouldn't trade for anything. I know they'll be happy because they'll atleast have eachother.

#2
College. I start Wednesday (Sep 14th) and that will be the start of a 13-week sanity haitus for me. I will be driving to Rexburg and back 5 days a week and will be taking on a moderate load of 14 credits- including a math class (dun, dun, DUUUUNN!). Means Dustin is working buisilly, The chillins will be tended to via at-home daycare. I was blessed to have been reffered to this lady who has excellent references, serves healthy food, and does preschool along with childcare. AND IT'S AFFORDABLE! So why am I stressed? Because for 25 hours a week I will not be with my children. That may sound lame to some of you- but to me it's devestating. I (surprizingly) like my kids. I've never worked durring the day since Lillie was born and haven't been away from them very much, on purpose. I love being a mother, and I've always understood that I only have 20 years or so (1/5th of my life) to raise my children and I want to be at home and make sure I do the best that I can. It is, afterall, the most influencial and important job anyone could ever have. Sure, I sometimes randomly leave the house after Dustin gets home to drive to Target and walk around by all myself because the crying and tantrums get to me a little bit- but this is 25 hours a week for 20 months straight. I hate knowing that somebody else will be raising them. I don't know. I'm sure I'm dramatizing this also- but it's honestly how I feel.

(*disclaimer: I understand that every family and situation is different, and I'm not necessarily anti-daycare.)

#3
On top of school, I'm still working. And nope, I can't get out of that. My kindhearted boss told me I didn't have to work anymore on Tuesdays or Wednesdays, she's wonderful. Unfortunatly, I'm still working 2-3 nights a week. And those of you who really know me, or just kindof know me, know that I need my sleep or else I turn into some yotchy, critical, rude, unpleasant person.

Yeah. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. More than a disaster- it's a LIZASTER! (30Rock)

Gosh I'm tired.