1. I love my family. Dustin and have have been living with his parents and my parents for 11 months now. We've really learned to appreciate the times we have together when it's just us together. We go way out of our way to spend time alone and have "immediate family time." The past 11 months have brought us way closer together. Monday night "family night" seems weird, because every night is family night.
2. I want a place to live. How I envy any and everyone who can afford to live on their own!! 8 months of unemployment and a butt-load of medical bills makes it so we can't right now, but hopefully soon. Be grateful that you don't have to fight over the TV, the thermostat, and who's eating whose cereal.
3. Jack is 1. I know I should have done a blog post (maybe I still will?) about his Happy Day- but it was a tad depressing for me. I really thought that by the time he was 1 I would have had a place to put his crib. For well over a year now, I've had a brand new nursery for him, stocked with brand new bedding, teddy bears, quilts, baskets, a lamp, newborn pictures, his name in wooden letters, and even a vinyl saying for a wall that I haven't been able to take out and put up. I even have paint samples picked out. I know, I'm whining about something insignificant- but isn't one of the best parts of having a baby is getting their room ready and customized? Needless to say, I cried for a long time after Jack went to bed that day.
4. Lillie is 3. And I have a headache.
5. Our stuff is in 4 different locations and it's driving me CRAZY!!!!!!!!!! But not to worry- we're saving up our money to afford a moving truck. The plan is to move everything back when we're in Idaho over Christmas. Sooo excited for that! Well, and also to go to Idaho for Christmas!
6. I need more willpower. I want to lose 7 pounds REALLY bad. Why 7? Because I have a stupid number in my mind of where I want to be. I know I could easily get there, but I'm not committed yet to give up all my treats. I need to eat better. I bet if I changed just my eating habits.......
7. I'm feeling like a horrible mother because I still haven't gotten Jack's 1 year pictures taken. I need to do that, I'm just slacking. And I need to get his 12 months vaccines. That's it. I'm scheduling it tomorrow.
Anyway, nothing too exciting. Just a glimpse at my thoughts lately.
I'll post pictures later when I feel like it!!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
A Touchy Subject
Here's the deal. About 7 years ago I was terrified of gay people. I was uncomfortable around them and almost even... afraid of them. What the heck?! Why??
Answer: Because that's the way I was raised. My mother never specifically said she didn't like people who were gay, but every time we saw someone who was, she would make this "clearing her throat" sound, look down, stop talking, and quickly walk past them. I'm not blaming my mother, I'm sure she had early negative influences also.
Well, fresh out of high school, I took an intern position at a Theatre Camp (CGST). I will never forget how I felt that first hour or two after I was dropped off. I went in to meet the other staff, only to find that out of the 21 staff members, 11 were gay. I felt awkward and imagining myself there with "those people" for 2 1/2 months scared me.
A funny thing happened, as I'm sure you saw coming. I became really good friends with almost everyone. I was surprised to find out that they were normal human beings. It blew my mind. All this time I thought gay people were weird, horrible people- only to find out that they were just like everyone else in the world! I know, I know. I'm making it seem like I thought they were aliens. Well, maybe I did. That Summer I got a big slap in the face.
Any person who has been or is constantly persecuted usually ends up being nicer, more considerate, and accepting of others. The people I had the privilege of being friends with at CGST were exactly that. They knew how much it hurt to be hated and mocked by everyone, to be judged based on one part of who they were. To be talked about, disrespected, and unwanted almost every day. In spite of that, the people I knew at least, were kind. Even though Mormon's have a stereotype of being unaccepting of gays, they were still nice to me. One friend I had at CGST told me on the last day, "Usually Mormon's don't talk to me. You are the first Mormon who has ever been nice to me." Her words haunted me.
While Mormon's believe that marriage is to be between a man and a woman- we don't believe that having same-gender attractions are fake. We do believe that gender isn't an accident. For more on what Mormon's really believe, check out the following links:
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?locale=0&sourceId=1aba862384d20110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=e1fa5f74db46c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=e5cbba12dc825110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
The point that I'm trying to make is that I'm sick of all this. While I still firmly believe that marriage is to be between a man and woman, I still love those, and am respectful to all those who are gay. I'm tired of all the comments I hear, the jokes, the relentless mocking, the headline news when someone sees 2 guys holding hands. And PLEASE stop with your stupid argument that "I can't understand how it feels because I'm only attracted to the opposite gender." Well, you want to know how it would feel? It's easy. Have everyone tell you that your feelings towards your spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever- are fake and wrong. See how it feels. Have some compassion. We're taught that Heavenly Father "is no respector of persons" and loves us all equally. I can't explain everything, but please don't be one of those dumb Mormon's who contributes to the bad rep of: "You're the only Mormon who has ever been nice to me."
Answer: Because that's the way I was raised. My mother never specifically said she didn't like people who were gay, but every time we saw someone who was, she would make this "clearing her throat" sound, look down, stop talking, and quickly walk past them. I'm not blaming my mother, I'm sure she had early negative influences also.
Well, fresh out of high school, I took an intern position at a Theatre Camp (CGST). I will never forget how I felt that first hour or two after I was dropped off. I went in to meet the other staff, only to find that out of the 21 staff members, 11 were gay. I felt awkward and imagining myself there with "those people" for 2 1/2 months scared me.
A funny thing happened, as I'm sure you saw coming. I became really good friends with almost everyone. I was surprised to find out that they were normal human beings. It blew my mind. All this time I thought gay people were weird, horrible people- only to find out that they were just like everyone else in the world! I know, I know. I'm making it seem like I thought they were aliens. Well, maybe I did. That Summer I got a big slap in the face.
Any person who has been or is constantly persecuted usually ends up being nicer, more considerate, and accepting of others. The people I had the privilege of being friends with at CGST were exactly that. They knew how much it hurt to be hated and mocked by everyone, to be judged based on one part of who they were. To be talked about, disrespected, and unwanted almost every day. In spite of that, the people I knew at least, were kind. Even though Mormon's have a stereotype of being unaccepting of gays, they were still nice to me. One friend I had at CGST told me on the last day, "Usually Mormon's don't talk to me. You are the first Mormon who has ever been nice to me." Her words haunted me.
While Mormon's believe that marriage is to be between a man and a woman- we don't believe that having same-gender attractions are fake. We do believe that gender isn't an accident. For more on what Mormon's really believe, check out the following links:
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?locale=0&sourceId=1aba862384d20110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=e1fa5f74db46c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=e5cbba12dc825110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
The point that I'm trying to make is that I'm sick of all this. While I still firmly believe that marriage is to be between a man and woman, I still love those, and am respectful to all those who are gay. I'm tired of all the comments I hear, the jokes, the relentless mocking, the headline news when someone sees 2 guys holding hands. And PLEASE stop with your stupid argument that "I can't understand how it feels because I'm only attracted to the opposite gender." Well, you want to know how it would feel? It's easy. Have everyone tell you that your feelings towards your spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever- are fake and wrong. See how it feels. Have some compassion. We're taught that Heavenly Father "is no respector of persons" and loves us all equally. I can't explain everything, but please don't be one of those dumb Mormon's who contributes to the bad rep of: "You're the only Mormon who has ever been nice to me."
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Really bad intentions
Most time I have good intentions, but they come out the wrong way and end up offending someone. However, there have been a few times that I bluntly did something on purpose that was really bad. I'm sure you have, too.
First Story: For Christmas one year, my little brother Bradley got the computer game called Baseball Pro '98. It was a big deal for a 10 year old. He didn't get very many other presents that year because of how expensive this particular game was. Well, that Summer the little twerp told on me when I took a bunch of quarters from my dad's humongous cup-o-change and rode my bike a mile away to Dairy Queen to get a Cookie Dough Blizzard (that's right, I still remember what kind). I was so furious that he was such a little tattle tale that I went into our office, took out his beloved computer game that was safely concealed in it's case, grabbed a ball point pen, and scratched the crap out of it. I'll admit, it felt good. Sweet Revenge!!
Well, obviously it didn't feel that good, because to this day I feel extremely guilty. Even writing about this incident 12 years later, I can still hear Brad in the back of my mind saying the next day, "Dad? Baseball Pro isn't working, can you please come help me?" Ahhhh! I never fessed up! What the heck would you have done if you were 12 and knew that Baseball Pro '98 was going to cost you $60 to replace- or a good 5 months worth of babysitting every single weekend (at the rate I was paid in 5th Ward)? I wasn't about to do that.
Plus, Brad was perfect. He never did anything wrong- so it's not like I could have gotten back at him by tatteling on him later.
Story #2: I told my supervisor that one of my sisters died just so that I didn't have to work over Christmas. Hahahaaaaa! I even faked crying on the phone and everything. I don't know why I couldn't have just quit like a normal person.
First Story: For Christmas one year, my little brother Bradley got the computer game called Baseball Pro '98. It was a big deal for a 10 year old. He didn't get very many other presents that year because of how expensive this particular game was. Well, that Summer the little twerp told on me when I took a bunch of quarters from my dad's humongous cup-o-change and rode my bike a mile away to Dairy Queen to get a Cookie Dough Blizzard (that's right, I still remember what kind). I was so furious that he was such a little tattle tale that I went into our office, took out his beloved computer game that was safely concealed in it's case, grabbed a ball point pen, and scratched the crap out of it. I'll admit, it felt good. Sweet Revenge!!
Well, obviously it didn't feel that good, because to this day I feel extremely guilty. Even writing about this incident 12 years later, I can still hear Brad in the back of my mind saying the next day, "Dad? Baseball Pro isn't working, can you please come help me?" Ahhhh! I never fessed up! What the heck would you have done if you were 12 and knew that Baseball Pro '98 was going to cost you $60 to replace- or a good 5 months worth of babysitting every single weekend (at the rate I was paid in 5th Ward)? I wasn't about to do that.
Plus, Brad was perfect. He never did anything wrong- so it's not like I could have gotten back at him by tatteling on him later.
Story #2: I told my supervisor that one of my sisters died just so that I didn't have to work over Christmas. Hahahaaaaa! I even faked crying on the phone and everything. I don't know why I couldn't have just quit like a normal person.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Dance
Today was Lillie's first day of Dance class. Her teacher's name is Miss Carly and Lillie loves her. I've been anticipating this day since I found out I was even having a girl! The best part is that her class has just 2 little girls. Talk about affordable one-on-one attention. The class agenda today was learning how to count to 8, learning how to skip (see the below pictures), doing some footwork with their tap shoes, and learning what left and right means. They also attempted stretching when Lillie got up and started running around the dance floor instead. I guess we'll have to practice that...
Friday, September 10, 2010
Our baby girl is 3!
I can't believe I have a 3-year-old! Lillie turned 3 in August, I'm just a little slow at documenting the occasion. We're a little broke, so we had to get creative. I planned a "Tea Party Birthday" themed event for her. Everyone dressed up in their 'Sunday best' and had tea (apple juice), cream puffs, brownie bites, homemade bread and jam, and some overly frosted pink or yellow cupcakes. I made her Birthday banner out of some construction paper, found her pinata for only 3.75 (what a steal), and used fresh flowers and bright table clothes for the table scape. Throughout the month I went to garage sales and DI and found some cute, real teacups and plates for each party guest to bring home as a favor. Budget wise, I came in at about 13.50 for everything. Most importantly, Lillie loved it. She still talks about it!
For her gift from us, Dustin made her this amazing dollhouse! It's to scale for an 11 1/2 inch doll (Barbie). He even made all the furniture! Because most everything was made out of scrap wood, everything only cost us 6.00. I painted it (with the help of my neighbor, Sue) and sewed the bedding, throw pillows, and curtains. She sure is spoiled!
Don't worry, Jack doesn't turn 1 until October 10 (10/10/10!). However, my niece and nephew's Birthdays are only 4 days apart, and Jack is just 2 months younger- so we had a combined 1st Birthday party for the three 1-year-olds. The only baby that ate their jumbo cupcake was Sayde! Andy and Jack wouldn't have anything to do with it, which is a little offensive means I spent forever making those cupcakes!
"No thanks!"
It's September 10th now, and here is my little Jack! 11 months old, exactly. And, not so little anymore. He's a solid 23 pounds, crawling all around, and starting to get a really playful personality. He's still laid back, but a lot more animated now. Oh, and the fohawk is gone. We gave him a buzz cut about 3 weeks ago. 3/8th's on the sides, 1/2 inch on the top. You should see him in his church outfit, he looks like a missionary!
And here's Miss Lillie Jo. Just happy, and living it up the 3-year-old way.
As for Dustin and I, we're still waiting to hear back about Dustin's job interview at the site. If he gets it, it will still be a while until he gets security clearance (1-6 months). If he doesn't, I'll go out and find a part time job, probably at nights so we can get out on our own. I dread working, but I'll do what I have to do to get by! I refuse to be a freeloader!
For her gift from us, Dustin made her this amazing dollhouse! It's to scale for an 11 1/2 inch doll (Barbie). He even made all the furniture! Because most everything was made out of scrap wood, everything only cost us 6.00. I painted it (with the help of my neighbor, Sue) and sewed the bedding, throw pillows, and curtains. She sure is spoiled!
Don't worry, Jack doesn't turn 1 until October 10 (10/10/10!). However, my niece and nephew's Birthdays are only 4 days apart, and Jack is just 2 months younger- so we had a combined 1st Birthday party for the three 1-year-olds. The only baby that ate their jumbo cupcake was Sayde! Andy and Jack wouldn't have anything to do with it, which is a little offensive means I spent forever making those cupcakes!
"No thanks!"
It's September 10th now, and here is my little Jack! 11 months old, exactly. And, not so little anymore. He's a solid 23 pounds, crawling all around, and starting to get a really playful personality. He's still laid back, but a lot more animated now. Oh, and the fohawk is gone. We gave him a buzz cut about 3 weeks ago. 3/8th's on the sides, 1/2 inch on the top. You should see him in his church outfit, he looks like a missionary!
And here's Miss Lillie Jo. Just happy, and living it up the 3-year-old way.
As for Dustin and I, we're still waiting to hear back about Dustin's job interview at the site. If he gets it, it will still be a while until he gets security clearance (1-6 months). If he doesn't, I'll go out and find a part time job, probably at nights so we can get out on our own. I dread working, but I'll do what I have to do to get by! I refuse to be a freeloader!In the meantime, Dustin enjoys his job. He's been doing tiling, drywall work, siding repair, plumbing, and bids for his office. So, if we ever need to finish a basement, we can save on labor cost!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
What's your thing?
So, I'm not sure why I'm so down about this lately, but I really want to have a "thing." Everybody has a thing. Some people are runners, some people are readers. Some are singers, bakers, or fashionistas, or Thespians, or entrepreneurs. Some are handy-man's (Dustin), or car mechanics. Some people are amazing photographers. I'm feeling like I'm not great at anything. I think I'm good at some things, though. I enjoy sewing, cooking, baking, singing, playing the piano, and running. However, there's already a friend or family member that would be considered the best for that particular talent. For example, I love, love, love to play the piano. I also love to sing. But I can think of like, 11 people on the top of my head that are family members or close friends that can do both of those considerably better than I. So... what is my thing? I'm feeling a little mediocre. I know it's just because I'm being dumb and am comparing myself to others, but even knowing that, I'm still bummed about it. And I know everyone will comment saying, "There's always going to be somebody better, so get over it." (or maybe that's what I would post) but it doesn't change the way I feel.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Where should we end up?
After talking to a person yesterday who has traveled the world doing remarkable things, I felt enlightened. He said, "You're so lucky to be here in the Northwest. You can go to the beach, the mountain, the river, the lake, go hiking, eat at incredible restaurants- everything is at your fingertips." It's true, though. Everybody thinks of Portland or Seattle as cities with too much rain. Well, have you ever visited? Sure, it rains for 5 months during Winter, but because of the moisture, it's beautiful, like, stunningly beautiful for the other 7 months. Plus, just because it's rainy outside doesn't mean it's not sunny! And if you think about it, almost everywhere has a long period of "unwanted" weather. For example, when we lived in Las Vegas it was unbearably hot for 6 months a year. We had to stay inside! In Idaho, it snows for 6 months a year. So, in the NW it rains.
Wow, that was a tangent!
Anyway, the point is, after that conversation I haven't been able to stop thinking about all the choices I have. Dustin and I have the agency to raise our family wherever we want. We've been assuming that Idaho Falls is the perfect place for everyone to grow up. Now I'm not so sure.
First of all, before I start offending all the South-Eastern-Idahoans, I do have to say that Idaho Falls is a great place to live. For starters, there are tons of lakes, camping sites, beautiful mountains, and the best perk- our families. Our closest friends and family members live there. Lillie and Jack have cousins galore to play with on a regular basis! It's an amazing circle of support.
My only complaint is the lack of diversity. While I love being surrounded with people who have the same values and beliefs as I, I secretly miss all of the crazy, sometimes weird liberals that Portland has to offer. It's a breath of fresh air to go to a restaurant and observe how the world is (and also be the only table not drinking). I feel like there are plenty more opportunities to "stand out" and speak up about when I believe in. I love the idea of living in an area packed with more culture and hilarious bumper stickers than Idaho Falls. Plus, out here sidewalks and curbing come standard- a rare feature in SE Idaho.
Now, this doesn't mean we're moving to Vancouver, Washington for life. It doesn't have to be here. It could be Georgia, or Long Island, or DC, or conveniently Seattle. The only state I wouldn't consider is California (for reasons that WILL offend certain persons).
Obviously I will go wherever the work is. Currently Dustin's job is primarily located in Portland and we're residing in Vancouver. And, right now Dustin is waiting to hear back from 2 job interviews that are both located in Idaho. I would love for Dustin to get either job in Idaho- but if he doesn't, then we won't live there right now.
The truth is, I'm afraid of settling down. I feel like there are so many other places that would be fun to live in, so why Idaho?
But then again, why not Idaho?
Wow, that was a tangent!
Anyway, the point is, after that conversation I haven't been able to stop thinking about all the choices I have. Dustin and I have the agency to raise our family wherever we want. We've been assuming that Idaho Falls is the perfect place for everyone to grow up. Now I'm not so sure.
First of all, before I start offending all the South-Eastern-Idahoans, I do have to say that Idaho Falls is a great place to live. For starters, there are tons of lakes, camping sites, beautiful mountains, and the best perk- our families. Our closest friends and family members live there. Lillie and Jack have cousins galore to play with on a regular basis! It's an amazing circle of support.
My only complaint is the lack of diversity. While I love being surrounded with people who have the same values and beliefs as I, I secretly miss all of the crazy, sometimes weird liberals that Portland has to offer. It's a breath of fresh air to go to a restaurant and observe how the world is (and also be the only table not drinking). I feel like there are plenty more opportunities to "stand out" and speak up about when I believe in. I love the idea of living in an area packed with more culture and hilarious bumper stickers than Idaho Falls. Plus, out here sidewalks and curbing come standard- a rare feature in SE Idaho.
Now, this doesn't mean we're moving to Vancouver, Washington for life. It doesn't have to be here. It could be Georgia, or Long Island, or DC, or conveniently Seattle. The only state I wouldn't consider is California (for reasons that WILL offend certain persons).
Obviously I will go wherever the work is. Currently Dustin's job is primarily located in Portland and we're residing in Vancouver. And, right now Dustin is waiting to hear back from 2 job interviews that are both located in Idaho. I would love for Dustin to get either job in Idaho- but if he doesn't, then we won't live there right now.
The truth is, I'm afraid of settling down. I feel like there are so many other places that would be fun to live in, so why Idaho?
But then again, why not Idaho?
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