A happy marriage or a crappy marriage.

If there's one thing that I've learned in the last six years, it would be that Dustin and I can either have a happy marriage or a crappy marriage. It's a simple choice that I have had to make hundreds of times in six years. When I put Dustin's needs, wants, wishes before my own, then we are happy. When I start getting selfish, nagging, or critical, our marriage starts to feel a little crappy.
Dustin and I read a book by Elder Hafen entitled Covenant Hearts just after we were married. After reading that book together, we decided that we wanted to have a covenant marriage instead of a contractual marriage. What's the difference, you ask?

A contractual marriage is when both spouses give 50%. A covenant marraige is when both spouses give 100%.

I'm grateful that all of our problems are solveable, instead of perpetual. We are both excellent problem solvers, which is the best skill you can have in a marriage. We also have the same views on how to raise our family, and how to treat our marraige.

Here's what works for us (not in any order):

• We both attend the temple every month, or more. There have been some months that have been difficult, but we haven't ever missed a month. Even when I was nursing, we still made it a priority to have me go and do initiatory or baptisms for even a 1/2 hour.
• We pray together each day.
• We read scriptures individually, as a family, and as a couple.
• We have FHE every Monday night. Even before we had kids, we still had an official "opening song, prayer, lesson, activity, treat" and after 312 Monday nights, we've only missed 2.
• We help sustain each other (and remind eachother) in our callings
• We cancelled our TV service. We spend much more quality time together talking, playing games, going to the park, riding bikes, reading scriptures, exersicing, and playing with our kids on the floor now.
• We go on a date each week. It's expensive with babysitters, but is the best investment.
• Each night, we discuss our Best and Worst parts of our day.
• We rely 100% on eachother. We are perfectly happy and content being by ourselves!
• I add extra ice to Dustin's drinks, and he makes sure to exclude mustard from any sandwich for me.
• We sometimes go to bed with unresolved issues. Sometimes a good night's sleep really helps.

So, in our "6-year-wisdom" we probably know nothing. But, so far, things have been wonderful, spontanious, and joyful. I've told people before, I got lucky and married someone who I genuinly get along with. But in reality, we follow what the Prophet's have taught us about marriage, and it seems to be working, especially when the hard times come.

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.

I love you, dear! I pray each day that I can find ways to serve you more, and be a better wife for you. I love the life we've built together, the covenants we've made together, and the wierd, obnoxious memories we have together.
Love, Erika

Other reading I recommend:
Covenant Marriage