Deuce

Bring it on, Jack!!
It's not like I haven't dealt with age 2 before.

I've been blessed to have a taste of what things will be like for the next 12 months. Jack loves to imitate Lillie's drive-me-crazy whiney voice. "uuuuuuuuuuuuuunhuh." He also loves to wear Lillie's Tu-Tu's and twirl. A couple weeks ago he dumped out an entire bottle of baby powder. As you probably recall, a year before he was covered in 5 pounds of flour. A few weeks ago I caught him shoving raisens into our DVD player. 2 months ago at church he grabbed 2 handfulls of cheerio's and threw them about 5 rows in front of us. This past Sunday, after taking a bath and putting on new pajamas, he decided to get back into the bathtub and play somemore, fully clothed and thrilled. I love being with that snuggely little boy. Sure, we've had our testing times- but I love hearing him say "I want Mommy!" right after he wakes up and picking up super-tiny peices of garbage and bringing them to me saying "Gank-oo!" (You're welcome Jack, I guess.)

I can't believe my tiny 6 pound, 8 oz baby with brown hair and blue eyes is now 27 pounds, has a buzzcut, and looks up at me with his brown eyes (yes) and kisses me on the cheek. He used to just sleep all day- now he reads books, colors, fingerpaints, and plays with his tricycle. I love that he hates TV, I love that he eats more than our 4 year old, I love how he always has a messy face no matter what, and I love that he loves me back.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Jack-ie! (as Lillie would say)

A Blessed Miracle!!!

This past Saturday I had a vocal audition to get into Music 155- private voice lessons. After talking to my incredible friend, Kaitlin (who majored in Vocal Performance from UW) she gave me a list of about 10 classical songs. I went to Chesbro for a while, and decided on 1 song, Caro Mio Ben... mainly because it was the easiest to learn, Italian-wise.

I practiced almost every day for about a month. I knew my Italian wasn't perfect, but I sang Italian songs when I was in voice in High School, so... does 6 years really make a difference???
YES.

My Audition was with the head of the music department. While waiting in the hall to go in, I couldn't help but observe that every girl singing in his office sounded like a professional Oprah singer. Crap.

My confidence plummeted, but I went in anyway with a smile. This is where it goes terribly bad.

The on-site accompianist (bless his heart) wasn't so great. I sang the first line for him while snapping the tempo, but of course, he played it rediculously fast. Now, what i SHOULD have done, was stop him and correct the tempo. Oh, but what did I do?? I went along with it. So, after feeling disconnected from the mood and feel of the song, I forgot my words 2 times, almost ran out of breath on a line, and just plainly- I sounded bad. No, not bad, really bad. It didn't help watching this guy frantically type who-knows-what on his laptop the entire time I was singing.

After the vocal part of the audition, there was a sight-reading exercise. We had to sight-read a Methodist Hymn. It was tricky. I think I did okay on it, though. We ended the audition by him telling me that I messed up the rhythem in 1 measure, and that my Italian sounded like Spanish.

Right after I left his office, I walked out the doors of the Snow Building and instantly started crying. And... pretty much kept crying for the rest of that day, Sunday, and Monday.

On Monday, I found out that out of the 60 kids that auditioned for this Major-Voice Lessons class, only 25 would make it. I "let myself down" and went home trying to think of ways that maybe I could retake it next semester, etc.. If I didn't get in, I would have to graduate a semester later.

To make an already unnessisarly long story shorter...
I checked the list today and I made it. It is seriously a miracle. I'm not even trying to sound modest- that audition sounded really bad.
I'm so grateful I got in! At the list posted on a bulletin board, there were girls left and right bawling and walking away. I feel very blessed to have somehow gotten into this class.

Oh, and BTW- this 2 credit class will not be as easy as I imagined. Not only do I have a private 1 hour lesson a week, but I also have 2 hour-long master classes, have to sing in some STAR recitals, and have to attend 8 choral events this semester. Gah!!

What should I be doing right now?

Sleeping.

It's 2:50AM and I've been home from work for about 30 minutes. I'm having one of those nights where my mind is racing, and I can't fall asleep. Prolly because I'm stressed.

Now, those of you who really really really know me, know that I simply don't handle stress well. I get easily overwhelmed, lose patience, and cry and stuff. I've known about this little (ahem, big) problem I've had for years. Luckily, I was blessed to marry Mr. Dustin who is super laid back and very easy going. He balances me out perfectly and very patiently listens to me dramatize every detail of my life, then tells me he loves me and gives me a big hug.

I guess I'm just rambling on at this point, but I promise that I DO have something to say. If you don't really care about me, then I would suggest not wasting your time reading. It would be pretty boring to most people- but is therapeutic to me.

There are a few things going on right now that are making me feel a bit upset/stressed/overwhelmed.

#1
I'm super sad that some certain family members are moving away. I was so excited that Tyson married Alli because she's always been like a sister to me. You can't find a more kind, loyal, and honest friend. Sometimes I call her up and ramble on about everything and she listens. I'm pretty sure I'm in complete denial that she's leaving.
And of course Dustin is upset that his brother is moving. This is all from my point of view, but Tyson has played a very vital role for our family, especially the last year. He's helped us out in many times of crisis and is genuinly a carring person. Sometimes Dustin will get on a role about all the silly things those two would do to eachother growing up. It's crazy to think that after 20-some years of being enemy's, Tyson is now Dustin's closest friend.
I'm happy for their family. It sucks to move. I've never enjoyed uprooting my entire life and having to start over. It's not easy making new friends, figuring out where everything is, and feeling so disconnected from everything you know- but it really brings you closer as a family. All of our "adventures" have turned out to be incredible experiences that we wouldn't trade for anything. I know they'll be happy because they'll atleast have eachother.

#2
College. I start Wednesday (Sep 14th) and that will be the start of a 13-week sanity haitus for me. I will be driving to Rexburg and back 5 days a week and will be taking on a moderate load of 14 credits- including a math class (dun, dun, DUUUUNN!). Means Dustin is working buisilly, The chillins will be tended to via at-home daycare. I was blessed to have been reffered to this lady who has excellent references, serves healthy food, and does preschool along with childcare. AND IT'S AFFORDABLE! So why am I stressed? Because for 25 hours a week I will not be with my children. That may sound lame to some of you- but to me it's devestating. I (surprizingly) like my kids. I've never worked durring the day since Lillie was born and haven't been away from them very much, on purpose. I love being a mother, and I've always understood that I only have 20 years or so (1/5th of my life) to raise my children and I want to be at home and make sure I do the best that I can. It is, afterall, the most influencial and important job anyone could ever have. Sure, I sometimes randomly leave the house after Dustin gets home to drive to Target and walk around by all myself because the crying and tantrums get to me a little bit- but this is 25 hours a week for 20 months straight. I hate knowing that somebody else will be raising them. I don't know. I'm sure I'm dramatizing this also- but it's honestly how I feel.

(*disclaimer: I understand that every family and situation is different, and I'm not necessarily anti-daycare.)

#3
On top of school, I'm still working. And nope, I can't get out of that. My kindhearted boss told me I didn't have to work anymore on Tuesdays or Wednesdays, she's wonderful. Unfortunatly, I'm still working 2-3 nights a week. And those of you who really know me, or just kindof know me, know that I need my sleep or else I turn into some yotchy, critical, rude, unpleasant person.

Yeah. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. More than a disaster- it's a LIZASTER! (30Rock)

Gosh I'm tired.

Housecleaning 101, lesson 2

Product: Arm and Hammer Washing Soda

Heard of it?
It's in the fabric softener section of your cleaning/detergent aisle at any grocery store.

Price: about 2 or 3 dollars

Uses: Amazing laundry detergent booster. Add a 1/4 cup to a really soiled load of clothes to brighten and really clean, not just cover up with perfumes.
You can also use it to clean essentially anything. It's a "green" cleaner and can be used in bathrooms and kitchens alike.

What do I use it for?
My hypoallergenic laundry detergent. I think I've finally perfected my recipe.

I know what you're thinking, and yes, it is way worth the time and effort.
I originally started making my own laundry detergent because Lillie started getting these weird rashes that wouldn't go away with any cream, over the counter or perscription. After realizing the problem could be partly due to our Tide laundry detergent (which I love), I made my own soap, and the rashes went away.

Now of course you can always go out and buy All Free and Clear and achieve the same results, but to make a 5 gallon bucket of the homemade stuff ends up costing $2.70 per 5 gallon bucket, whereas All will run you atleadt $15 for the same amount of loads.

Alright, alright. Here's the simple, perfected, hypoallergenic recipe.

1 bar of hypo. bar soap (i use Dove) -grated like cheese
2 cups of Arm and Hammer Washing Soda
1 1/2 cups Oxy Clean (also hypo. version)
5 gallon bucket
Water

After grating the soap, disolve it in a pot of 3 cups of water, stirring constantly. It should take about 4 or 5 minutes.

Add other ingrediants to the bucket, including dissolved soap, then fill up with warm water.

This is important:
Stir bucket of detergent every 15 minutes for 2 hours. I find it makes it less clumpy.

To use:
Add 1 cup of detergent to every load.
Don't freak out when you get your clothes out and they don't smell like mountain breeze, or fresh linen. They're not suppose to smell like anything, that's how you know they're really clean.

And that wraps up lesson 2! If anyone has another recipe or tries this one, let me know!

(i understand that lots of recipes use Borax, but everytime I added it, the rashes came back. If you don't have a oroblem with that, go ahead and add some Borax- about 1/2 cup)

Simplify, yeah right.

And how do I do that exactly??

Between work, side jobs, and running- Dustin may as well be working 65 hours a week! Then add on me working at the temple and doing 10+ hours of house cleaning a week (not even including my own house)... I'm feeling quite overwhelmed.

And school starts in 4 weeks...
(yes, I realise that the '...' Is super annoying, but it exemplifies my thoughts and feelings of stress and growing anxiety.)

So I really need to simplify my life, I just don't know how to accomplish such a feat.

Cleaning shleening.

After years of semi-professionally cleaning, I thought I'd be a good friend and share my secrets. And yes, I have many useful ones that WILL be profitable unto you.

Let me introduce you to my good friend: Cascade Powder Dishwashing Detergent

Uses: dishwashing, cleaning/sanitizing nasty, yellow tubs

Directions: sprinkle detergent all over tub, grab a rough, brissle scrub brush and work away. Rinse with insanly hot water to ensure detergent dissolvement. Voila!


you're welcome.

Sorry, I smell like varnish.

Well, I'm ending my almost month long hiatus an am now going to inform my 3 readers what I've been up to.

1. Time Out for Women with sister and sis in law. Yes, I cried.
2. Work. Some weeks I work 4 nights and some weeks only 1, but it's still very exhausting. And before you text me me asking, I work as a housekeeper for the IF Temple... And have since March.
3. Half Marathon. I finished it on June 11, but am still running to prepare for my next one in August. It's awsome, but yes, time consuming/exhausting.
4. No internet... But not to worry. After a recent purchase, we now have wifi AND a Samsung Galaxy.
5. Refinishing our piano. After hours and hours of neverending sanding, staining, and 5 coats of polyurethane... It's (still almost) done.
6. Did I fail to mention that we moved? Yes. June 6th.

I could write a list of biblical proportion about how number 6 has been almost the death of my happiness. Moving to a house and unpacking things from 2 storage units (some of which have been stored unopened for 2 1/2 years) has been stressful and not quite as fun as I had previously anticipated. Whatev.

So, I'm back, slightly grudgingly. And yes, I do realize I prolly spelled that wrong.